Speaking your truth isn't about oversharing or being brutally honest—it's about closing the painful gap between who you really are and the mask you show the world. That gap is stealing your life force, eroding your self-trust, and keeping you from the deep connections you crave.

One of the most important steps toward becoming more authentic and living true to ourselves is to uncover and honor our own truth.

I say uncover because our truth is there. It's often just hidden underneath all of the "truths" imposed upon us by our parents, society, media, religion, etc.

And I say honor because so often, we know our truth, but we don't honor it, and we keep it concealed.

The journey to uncover, honor, and then reveal our truth requires time, introspection, healing, and courage, but our health, relationships, and happiness depend on it.

There's a connection between expressing our true selves and emotional well-being, and self-expression has been said to be an antidote to depression.

What Is "Speaking Your Truth?"

To comprehend what speaking our truth entails, it's essential first to recognize what it isn't.

Here are some examples of what it’s not:

• Sharing a story about someone else

• Gossiping about others

• Parroting articles we've read

• Complimenting someone in a bid to be liked

• Saying yes or going along to fit in

• Sharing soundbites and talking points from an ideological belief system

• Repeating a trending viewpoint without reflecting on whether it's aligned with you

• Giving all the "good" updates about your life, leaving out your struggles

• Saying the "right" thing to avoid upsetting others

Instead, it's a deeper, more intimate endeavor—one where we tease out our own true thoughts, feelings, perspectives, and emotions amidst the noise of societal expectations, conditioning, imposed belief systems, things we learned as kids, and ideologies.

How Do We Discover Our Truth?

We start by watching for moments when we aren't being true to ourselves.

For me, there's a quiet voice or feeling inside that I became increasingly aware of as I began to practice this—a discomfort or feeling of angst when I was saying what I thought I should say to avoid conflict, to seek validation or approval, to fit in, to stay safe, or to avoid vulnerability.

Your Inner Barometer

We all possess this inner barometer, an intuitive sense that alerts us when we're veering away from our truth.

When we say something out of obligation or fear, we might feel a slight uneasiness—a tension in our chest or a churning in our stomach.

Recognizing this sensory feedback can help guide us back to authenticity, encouraging us to speak from a place of genuine feeling and thought rather than out of an automatic response, fear, or societal pressure.

The first and most important person to start telling the truth to is yourself.

As you do this, you'll build this muscle.

You can then decide whether (and how) to tell your truth to another.

Small Lies vs. Big Lies

We know if we're telling a "real" lie—where we knowingly fabricate the truth.

But we often feel quite justified in our "little" lies and may not even be aware when we do it.

Consider how often we tell white lies to please others or avoid discomfort. We justify them because we don't want to "hurt" the other or "push their buttons." We leave parts out because we think we’re protecting the other person. We think it's kinder to smooth things over.

We may even think saying no is "mean" or selfish, so we say yes.

But these seemingly innocuous small actions compound over time, creating a gap between our authentic selves and the identities and masks we present to the world.

This separation is more painful than we may appreciate, as it is stealing our life force and eroding self-trust.

A while back, when I was in the early stages of finding my truth, I would have said that I was a very honest person.

And then, I read a book called Radical Honesty by Brad Blanton.

I discovered I wasn't as honest as I thought. And it was a bit of a wake-up call.

"We all lie like hell," says Dr. Brad Blanton. "It wears us out...it is the major source of all human stress. It kills us."

While I'm not suggesting you adopt every tenet in this book (I found it a bit...well, radical), and it was a little hard to read, it illuminates how frequently we lie to ourselves and others in small, almost imperceptible ways.

And how bad it is for us—individually and relationally.

I took away three key messages:

• We all lie way more than we think we do

• Authenticity begins with truthfulness to ourselves

• The truth will set us free

Walking the Path of Impeccable Words

One of my favorite and most recommended books is The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.

One of the four agreements is:

"Be impeccable with your word"—a commitment to speak with integrity and truth.

It's about using the power of our words to promote truth and love instead of gossip, deceit (internal or external), or self-deprecation.

Living according to this guiding principle has been life-changing for me.

It aligns seamlessly with the teachings from The Whole Soul Way™, which emphasize that our words are not only a reflection of our inner world but, when impeccable, can help us become more authentic and tap into our emotional depth.

Two of the most painful things we experience are:

• Separation from ourselves (from our truth), and

• Not feeling heard and known in our depth

And yet, so many of us don't even know ourselves deeply and, therefore, can't reveal ourselves to others.

We conceal, pretend, protect, and guard our tender hearts.

Which causes inner turbulence, stress, and disconnection—and is exhausting.

But we mend the inner separation and increase our chances of feeling heard, seen, and known…

…when we uncover, honor, and reveal our true feelings and thoughts (perhaps initially unskillfully but ultimately with skill and care).

When we bring our truth and authenticity into our relationships,
we have the power to create the intimacy and deep connections we long for.

And through consistent practice, knowing what's true for us becomes second nature.

Courageous Self-Expression

However, speaking our whole truth may initially feel impossible. It did for me. It can feel terrifying to upset people and risk being rejected, humiliated, or abandoned.

This is why, to speak our truth courageously, we must first cultivate a deep sense of inner safety and security (an genuine self-confidence).

This journey begins with developing a strong relationship with ourselves—building an unshakeable foundation of self-worth that isn't dependent on external approval or validation.

This process often requires us to confront and heal old wounds, challenge limiting beliefs, and practice self-acceptance.

As we uncover and honor our truth to ourselves, we come to trust ourselves more. And this self-trust becomes a foundation for our courage and confidence.

As we grow more comfortable in our own skin, we become less afraid of others' judgments or potential rejection. We learn to source our validation internally, recognizing that our worth isn't determined by others' opinions of us.

This inner strength becomes the wellspring from which we can draw the courage to share our authentic selves with our friends, family, and, perhaps, the broader world.

It's important to remember that this is a gradual process—we don't suddenly wake up one day baring our hearts, telling everyone every thought in our mind (actually, let's not ever do that, haha), and revealing our deepest truths.

Instead, it's about taking small, brave steps—consistently choosing authenticity over people-pleasing or hiding—and learning to sit with the discomfort that sometimes comes with honoring and expressing our truth.

As we practice this, we not only liberate and empower ourselves but also give permission to and create space for others to do the same, developing relationships based on authenticity, emotional connection, and mutual respect.

Begin Your Journey to Speaking Your Truth

If you're ready to close the gap between who you really are and who you've been pretending to be—if you're ready to stop people-pleasing and start honoring your authentic self—I've have something for you.

The Whole Soul Way™ is my foundational course designed to guide you in uncovering, honoring, and revealing your truth. Through 39 videos, you'll learn a repeatable process for healing old wounds, building self-trust, and developing the inner safety you need to speak your truth courageously.

You'll discover how to:

• Recognize when you're abandoning yourself through people-pleasing and inauthenticity

• Build unshakeable self-trust and inner safety through accessible inner child reparenting

• Transform fear of rejection into courageous self-expression

• Create relationships based on authenticity rather than masks and performance

The course is completely free.

Ready to begin discovering your truth?

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Where are you on this journey? I'd love to hear from you in the comments below.