For years, I convinced myself that wanting engagement was ego. That "detaching from outcomes" was evolved. But here's what I finally see: that wasn't spiritual wisdom—it was my childhood self-reliance wound wearing a mask. I built a business on emotional unavailability, giving without receiving, armored against needing anyone. But I can't build anything real without reciprocity. So in 2026, I'm choosing interdependence over self-reliance. I'm admitting I need connection. And I'm done making myself wrong for being human.

My 2026 resolution? Stop spiritually bypassing my own humanity.

I'm done pretending I don't care about engagement.

Done rationalizing low views as "the algorithm." No likes as "people are busy."

Done making myself wrong for wanting engagement and connection.

For years, I've told myself that wanting likes, comments, or reciprocity was ego. That I should "detach from outcomes" and just keep giving. That if I was truly evolved (healed?), none of it would matter.

But this wasn't wisdom.

This was my childhood wound wearing a spiritual mask.

It formed when I was a kid, needing help or wanting connection and getting nothing—or worse, getting told I was too much. So I learned: need nothing, expect nothing, handle everything yourself. It was safer that way.

And of course, it was showing up in my business!

Everything is a mirror. I've been working on this self-reliance pattern for a decade—in my marriage, my friendships, my relationship with myself.

But I didn't see it here.

My business was the last frontier. The place where I could still hide behind "I don't need anyone" and call it evolved.

I had built a business on that same pattern. Emotionally unavailable. Armored. Giving without receiving.

I'd post something I poured my heart into. Watch the hours tick by with no response. Tell myself it was fine. I was "detached."

But underneath? I felt invisible. Again.

And every time I felt that sting of disappointment? I shamed myself for it. Called it "needing external validation." Told myself to do more healing work on this pattern.

But wanting connection isn't ego. It's human.

The obvious truth I missed?

I literally cannot have a podcast without people who listen and engage. I can't build a business without reciprocity.

And here's the thing...

In a way, every post is a bid for connection.

Every piece of content is me saying, "Hey, I have something to share. Does it land? Do you see me?"

And when it's met with silence, of course it hurts.

Not because I'm broken—but because we're wired for connection. For mattering to each other.

Here's what I'm NOT saying: that I'll stop creating if the engagement doesn't come. I won't. I create because it moves through me. Because self-expression is sacred. Because some things need to be said regardless of who's listening.

But here's what I AM saying: I'm done dismissing the part of me that wants connection. 

Done pretending it doesn't sting when I pour my heart into something and hear nothing back. Both can be true—I can create for the sake of expression AND want deeper engagement. I can be okay without it AND acknowledge that I desire it.

I'm not abandoning myself either way. I'll soothe my own heart, reparent my own inner child, be okay. But I won't deny my humanity anymore. I don't want to be a lone wolf. I want to be IN the world, IN relationships, acknowledging my need for connection.

The spiritual bypass is the belief that we should be ABOVE needing that. The wound is the belief that we don't deserve it.

And the delusion is thinking we can build anything sustainable without it—relationships, businesses, communities, worlds.

So in 2026, I'm done armoring up. Done pretending my business doesn't need other people. Done calling my desire for connection a weakness or a wound.

The wound is my deep fear of intimacy.

And the armor is self-reliance and independence.

In 2026, I'm choosing interdependence over self-reliance.

I'm choosing to let myself want deeper engagement and stop shaming myself for it. I'm choosing to receive instead of just give.

I'm admitting something that feels terrifyingly vulnerable: I need you. I need you to listen. To engage. To tell me when something lands or when it doesn't. I can't do this alone, and pretending I can has been slowly killing the work I'm trying to build.

This is a breakthrough for me. After a lifetime of "I don't need anyone," I'm finally seeing in technicolor how that pattern has been running everything—including my business. And I'm ready to break it.

This scares the shit out of me.

What if I admit I need you and you still don't show up? But staying armored is lonelier than risking that.

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If you've been telling yourself the same stories—that you shouldn't care, that wanting engagement is ego, that you should just keep giving without expecting anything back—I see you.

And I'm wondering: what if we stopped making ourselves wrong for being human?

What if 2026 is the year we choose connection over protection? Vulnerability over armor? Interdependence over the exhausting performance of self-reliance?

I'm ready. Are you? 

Originally shared on Facebook...keeping it raw and real here too.