Your midlife boredom isn't solved by a new hobby, career, or adventure. It's a wake-up call from your soul telling you that you've disconnected from yourself—and the aliveness you're craving is waiting inside you, not out there.

I was walking with a friend recently. She confided in me that she was bored out of her mind. Previously a stay-at-home mother and now running her own business, she's found herself in a state of gnawing boredom as her kids have grown older.

Even as she pursues new hobbies or activities, nothing seems to quell that feeling.

This conversation got me thinking about the nature of midlife boredom.

Exploring Midlife Boredom

Boredom usually runs deep in midlife women—we're often deeply bored with the life we've created, and we're bored with ourselves.

This existential boredom stems from how we've been living our lives: mechanically and transactionally, focused on meeting expectations and fulfilling roles.

We've been living out patterns from our childhood, doing all the things we're “supposed to do” as parents, professionals, and adults. Our minds are constantly racing, remembering tasks and doing what we "should" be doing. We're so caught up in our heads that we've become disconnected from our bodies, from our hearts, from our true selves.

When we try to address this deeper boredom, our instinct is often to seek external solutions.

We look for new hobbies, adventures, or jobs. And there's nothing inherently wrong with this approach. When I first experienced this strong sense of being bored and restless in my life, I pursued training as a health coach, which led to my coaching practice. Sometimes, boredom can be a catalyst for positive change and creativity in our lives.

However, the problem arises when we believe that our boredom can only be solved through external means.

We might feel temporarily enlivened by a new experience or activity, but the novelty eventually wears off. These are often just momentary escapes from our reality because…

…wherever we go, there we are.

To truly address this boredom, we need to look inside.

Where Boredom Comes From

This deep-seated boredom often arises because we've created predictable and safe lives. We do things we know we're good at, stick to what's comfortable, and dutifully fulfill our obligations and responsibilities.

While this feels familiar, safe, and secure, it's also boring because we are so much more than these limited versions of ourselves.

"People say that what we're all seeking is a meaning for life. I don't think that's what we're really seeking. I think that what we're seeking is an experience of being alive, so that our life experiences on the purely physical plane will have resonances with our own innermost being and reality, so that we actually feel the rapture of being alive."
―Joseph Campbell, The Power of Myth

The opposite of boredom is aliveness. And wholeness equals aliveness.

Thus, the antidote to boredom is wholeness.

Becoming Whole and Being Alive

Wholeness is about coming into a deeper relationship with all aspects of who you are, intentionally, by:

Balancing your tendency towards masculine energy (doing, achieving, structuring) with more feminine energy (receptivity, rest, flow, freedom), becoming comfortable with silence, a slower pace, and exploring the rich interior within you. You've become a master at your external life; now it's time to turn inward.

Journeying from your head into your heart—not negating the power of your mind but bringing your feelings into the equation as well. Feelings are where true aliveness resides. Often, we avoid our feelings because we associate them with negative emotions like anger, frustration, or sadness. Or the fear that our feelings might engulf us. But beneath these surface reactions are deeper feelings that, when acknowledged and embraced, can bring a new sense of vitality to our lives.

Expanding the way you communicate. Many of us get stuck talking about the transactional and superficial aspects of our lives—work, children, and daily schedules. But are we discussing the underlying emotions, our deeper thoughts, our curiosities? our true desires? Revealing our personal truth…and our softer underbelly.

Craving Connection to Ourselves

Along the way, as moms, friends, sisters, daughters, and wives, we may be so accustomed to considering everyone else's needs that we forget about our own. Or not even think we have needs.

This is why, what we're all craving—whether we call it restlessness, boredom, emptiness, or a longing for more—is essentially the same thing: more of ourselves.

The roles, rules, and responsibilities we've taken on in society can be incredibly limiting, making our lives so freaking boring.

What we truly desire is to access our emotional depth.

To be our ever-changing selves.

To not be boxed in.

To be a mystery at times.

To fully express the truth of who we are.

Especially as women, we're designed to flow through our cycles and lives.

There's an energy and excitement to this that most of us have lost.

"I want to know
if you know
how to melt into that fierce heat of living
falling toward
the center of your longing."
― David Whyte

Befriending Uncertainty

When we talk about being in the present moment, we're talking about a moment of uncertainty—being in this very moment and not knowing what's next. But our instinct is to control and structure our experiences, to make people and situations predictable. We feel safer when we can make assumptions based on someone's job, political affiliation, or opinions.

But when we become internally safe and authentically connected to ourselves, we can handle being anywhere, with anyone. Instead of feeling scared in unfamiliar situations, we feel exhilarated and excited.

When you say you don't want to be bored anymore, does any of this sound delicious to you?

To tap into a sense of exhilaration, adventure, and aliveness?

The path to this state involves becoming more comfortable with discomfort, uncertainty, unfamiliar circumstances, and unpinnable people.

And that includes yourself!

Meeting All Of Yourself

To access our wholeness and aliveness, you must be willing to meet parts of yourself you didn't know existed and remove the masks, armor, and guarding that constrict your life force energy.

Some women will tell me they love themselves, and that's wonderful.

But the question is: do you really know all of yourself? Do you love all of yourself?

Often, we love the version of ourselves that we've carefully cultivated and curated to be acceptable to the world.

But I guarantee you, since people who have done decades of deep inner work are still discovering new aspects of themselves, there's probably a lot about yourself for you to discover.

There are parts of ourselves that we hide from others and even from ourselves, especially parts of our hearts that we don't feel safe revealing. Imagine if you could tap into these other dimensions of yourself, discovering so much more of who you are.

Boredom as a Guide

The deep nuance of what I'm talking about here is how to reclaim our true and whole selves in the midst of a boring marriage or life.

How to use boredom, especially in midlife, motherhood, and marriage…as a teacher and a guide.

Boredom is a feeling that tells us that there's more available, not in the external world but right here within us.

So when you feel bored, remember: it's not about the feeling itself.

It's an invitation.

Turn toward boredom, sit with it, ask it what it has to tell you, stay present with the feeling, and allow it to show you the way.

There's so much more to discover right here, inside of you.

You don't have to go anywhere else to find it.

The adventure you're craving is right here inside of you.

And boredom is calling you to explore the magnificent territory within.

Ready to Begin the Journey Inward?

If you're tired of seeking aliveness in external solutions—if you're ready to discover the adventure waiting inside you—I invite you to explore The Whole Soul Way™.

This comprehensive foundational course (available free on my ELATE Podcast on YouTube and major podcast channels) guides you through 39 transformative lessons on inner child healing, shadow work, and nervous system regulation. You'll learn how to use the boredom, restlessness, and longing you're feeling as a doorway to reclaiming your whole, authentic self.

You'll discover how to:

• Journey from your head into your heart and access your emotional depth

• Meet the hidden parts of yourself you've kept concealed

• Build the inner safety that allows you to embrace uncertainty and aliveness

• Transform from mechanical living to feeling the rapture of being alive

The adventure you're craving isn't out there. It's right here, inside you.

Begin your journey home to yourself:

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